F.A.Q.!

Dude! I've been doing this for almost a year and I've finally decided to stop being so lazy and answer some frequently asked questions. Because... well, because people ask me the same questions. Frequently.

"How does this work?"

Well dude, it's pretty straightforward. I will draw pretty much whatever you ask me to, and you will pay me 10 bucks. Email me (land_camera_land_camera at yahoo dot com), and tell me what you want me to draw. I'll give you payment info, and after you pay me, I put your name on a list, and draw things in order of payment received. See? Not hard at all!


"Are the wood block drawings only 10 bucks?"

Nope. They cost anywhere between 20 and 50 bucks, depending on the size. First of all, I have to go buy them, secondly, they're fancy, and thirdly, they cost more to ship. So, they cost more. Sorry. But they're cooler! I just post them here because I don't feel like starting a whole other blog just for wood block drawings. Is that okay?

"Will you design my tattoo?"

Probably not. Your tattoo artist will do the best job of drawing your tattoo. They can trace your body and make the drawing specific to the size of the space available, and they can work with your needs over time, which is something that I am way too lazy to do. Custom tattoo drawings are wrapped up in the price of the tattoo, so it's not going to cost you extra. If you really have a very small, simple idea for a tattoo that you just HAVE to have me draw before you can deal with the idea of getting it tattooed, JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO ME ABOUT IT, and then I don't have to feel all weird.

"Will you design a logo for my small business?"

Hell no! For 10 bucks? What kind of jerk are you? Graphic designers get paid more than minimum wage, dude. I don't care how simple your design is, if it's that easy to draw, draw it yourself. And despite what I said about tattoo designs, I definitely do NOT want any down-low use of my work for commercial purposes. That would be extremely uncool, so don't try to be all coy and pretend like you want it for something else.

"What do you draw with? What's with the brown paper?"

I draw with graphite and micron pens on cut up grocery bags from Trader Joe's. If you think that's ghetto, maybe you should consider that you're paying an art school graduate 10 dollars INCLUDING SHIPPING AND PAYPAL FEES for an original piece of art. It's not like I'm gonna go out and invest in a bunch of archival paper.


"Where is my drawing? Why is it taking so long?"

It can take up to a month or longer for me to complete a drawing, because I usually have a pretty long list. I also have other shit to do with my day besides sit with my nose to a piece of brown paper. I will occasionally make exceptions for gifts that are time-sensitive but usually only on a big order.

"I don't like my drawing!"

Actually, nobody has said this to me, which I'm really thankful for. But if someone did say that, I'd say: TOUGH SHIT, DUDE. Gimme another 10 bucks and I'll draw you another one.


also:

UPDATE YOUR FUCKING RETURN ADDRESS OR I WILL HATE YOU.